The recent "fall back" time change has the days feeling shorter and the darkness creeping in earlier in the evening. This week I have found more light in these darker days and I feel completely on fire in my faith.
I have felt a little lost over the last month or so. I have been seeking solace not necessarily where I should have. I gave in to many temptations and during this time doubted myself and lost faith in who I am as a person. I am my own worst enemy and have judged myself harshly for my recent behavior.
Last week I made a choice to get myself back on track both emotionally, physically and above all spiritually.
This week I knew was going to be a tough week. I had major projects at work, I am still in a learning curve for my new job role, I was feeling uneasy about a relationship issue, I am nervous and consumed with my upcoming move....many things making me feel anxious and unsettled.
Sunday night I prayed for a long time. I did not ask God to help me speak better during my presentations this week, I didn't ask him to minimize the workload while my co-worker is on vacation, I didn't ask him to make my heart feel less wounded, I didn't ask him for anything tangible.
What I did was ask to be INSPIRED...I asked Him to be with me, to watch over me, to give me comfort in knowing that He is with me even when I feel like nobody else is there for me. I asked for help to continue to be courageous even when I feel totally afraid to face the day ahead.
This week has been one of the best weeks of my life. Work has been phenomenal...my heart is happy and my spirit is spunky again. I am totally "going with the flow" and doing the best I can because I know it's all going to be okay.
Tonight at my R.C.I.A. class (which I love so so so much) Father Eric asked if anyone would like to lead us in prayer at the close of our session together. I volunteered and said my first publicly spoken prayer and it just flowed from me...from my heart and soul. When I opened my eyes, Father Eric had tears in his eyes and he thanked me and said it was beautiful and moving.
Score! I love my job, my friends, my family, my faith, my amazingly beautiful life AND my God. Thank you for never leaving me and thank you for always illuminating my path and keeping my inner fire burning bright!!!
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